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You know those times when you’re looking for something, and you don’t expect you’re going to be able to find it without really putting an effort in? But then life just throws it at you, and you’ve got this opportunity that you HAVE to take because my god, you want it…but you’re not prepared whatsoever. Well let me tell you the story of this past weekend…

For the past few weeks I’ve been dying to make some new erotica, explore things with new people, make new connections, new content, share pleasure and enjoy myself, but this is a little harder than it sounds. Firstly, there’s not many people in my tiny little city of Wellington that are keen to make this sort of stuff, and secondly, I’m just a terribly socially awkward person so me actually finding these people is near impossible. Oh, and there’s also the fact that I don’t like to act - I want to find people who are on a similar wavelength to me and I know we are going to get along and have fun. My primary focus here is creating an enjoyable experience for all involved, as opposed to forcing something that’s fake so we can make money from it.

So on Thursday, Oscar Mike came home from a day of meeting models (he’s the social part of this team) and I came home from a long day of teaching. As I was walking home, I noticed a message from him on my phone, “I’ve got a really great erotica opportunity for you!” Being the nervous wreck that I am, I promptly started churning out scenarios in my head, was I going to open the apartment door to a full shoot set-up? Had OM promised a great shoot to another person assuming that I was going to be into it (because I’d been stressing so hard about not having people to shoot with) and I was going to go into something completely terrified and unprepared? What if I really didn’t connect with this person, what if I didn’t find them attractive? Fuck, what if they didn’t find ME attractive and I was putting them into an incredibly uncomfortable situation? What if they wanted to leave but OM and I seemed intimidating because we are people that create this sort of content every day and they would feel like they couldn’t say no??? And I mean, I’d just finished a full, very intense day of teaching. All I really wanted to do was collapse on the couch and play candy crush. So when I opened the front door I was pretty damn relieved to find that it was just OM at home.

Turns out, he’d just had coffee with a girl called Xochilt. Xochilt was from Belgium, travelling through NZ and was going to be in Wellington for a only a few days. She wasn’t a professional model as such, more just a normal human travelling the world, working in hospo, doing photoshoots here and there, posting nudes online, that sorta thing! Basically, exactly how I started out. The plan was for her to shoot something with OM, but during their coffee, she started talking about how much she enjoyed my work and would love to work with me - but she’d never been with a girl before.

Now OM and I are all about trying new things, but we’re also all for showing others new experiences too. We decided that the next night, Friday, Xochilt would come over, we’d hang shoot some sample shots, get to know each other a little bit, and if all went well, we would shoot TWO sets of erotica the next day - one set with OM as originally planned, and one with me.

Obviously, that Friday evening did go well, we all shared a few beers, OM shot some gorgeous classical shots with Xochilt and then I came in and tied her up, pegged her up, and then finally jumped right on up on top of her. All three of us were very much looking forward to Saturday.

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It was a really horrible Saturday, the wind was so loud, the streets were near-flooded and the rain was sideways - the perfect day to stay inside and make some porn. Xochilt arrived just after midday, and me being the nervous little lamb I am, was still mucking around with my hair and makeup and just generally trying to act completelyyyyyy chill. I was excited but a little worked up (usually a good thing!) but with being that way, I sometimes get a little mixed up. I thought we had planned to shoot down in our living room - a big, open space that was nice and comfortable for everyone. Turns out we were actually shooting in my bedroom!! So I scrambled around, changing the sheets and setting things up nicely, saying sorry to my safe innocent little space for the debauchery it was about to endure. Turns out it was a good idea as the light in there was beautiful.

The second thing I messed up - As we had decided the night before that we were only going to be doing photos and not video, I assumed that OM was going to be directing the shoot pretty solidly - he’s incredible at direction and I love being his lil puppet. We’d agreed to shoot it as one of his Entropy books, meaning that there’s quite a lot of planning and direction that goes into each shot and the narrative as a whole, and we’d be able to break character after each shot and plan the next one. This is very different to video when you can’t break character much at all - you just have to get stuck in, give it your all, and whatever happens, happens.

Turns out, this plan just wasn’t going to work. As Shawn was shooting and not directly involved in the action, he couldn’t narrate or direct the shoot like he normally did with his Entropy series. And you never really know how this sort of thing is going to go until you’re in the heat of the moment and realise “Hey…this isn’t really working.” As I was the experienced model in this little twosome of girls, AND it was Xochilt’s first experience being intimate with a female, it was pretty clear that I was just going to have to jump in and take charge. This was no longer a directed photoshoot. This was a documentary photoshoot.

Turns out, Xochilt was WAY better at this than I am! I tentatively got to work, instead of posing and holding, I began moving with less intention to the camera, and instead shifting, groping, and touching with more intention to Xochilt and her physical experience. Every so often I would get nervous and pause, checking in with OM if he was getting the shots that he wanted, and checking in with Xochilt to see if she was comfortable, although I didn’t really need to ask much, her face said it all.


After those first few initial moments of clumsiness, I moved my focus away from the shoot and centered it more on the present which was Xochilt - and this is how I feel intimacy should be. Forget about the outside world, forget about time, bring your focus to the person you’re with, bring their focus to you, and center yourselves around our primal hedonistic desires.

I can’t really remember much of the details that happened from there, but afterwards everyone was exceptionally content. OM captured the two of us in a way that he was very happy with, I was pretty stoked with myself of how well I handled the mix-ups and turned them around, and well, Xochilt had a pretty stellar time losing her girl-virginity. We all chilled out and cleaned up, Xo had a nap on the couch and OM ran out to do a quick shoot down the road at a hotel and was back within the hour. OM and Xochilt then headed back upstairs to shoot their own Entropy set, and from the previews I’ve seen, it’s looking pretty fucking hot and I can’t wait to see the rest.

Since mine and Xo’s shoot didn’t fall along the Entropy story as planned, OM and I came up with a new series title - INTERSECT - To meet at a cross point, to pierce or divide, to share a common area. Moments that overlap in the lives of strangers. All moments matter equally, and all moments have no meaning at all.

If you’d like to check it out in it’s full 54 page glory, just click HERE.